The grandiosity of seeing Space Shuttle Endeavor in person

And donating all styling proceeds from this month 🇮🇱

For the past few months, I have been dying to go to see the space shuttle at the Los Angeles Science Center. Little did I know that it would be a major lesson on the inconceivable and just a hint of the sadness to come.

The most complex machine ever built. Two giant international tragic failed missions. An artifact of an ancient, canceled space program. The shuttle attracted me like a magnet as I sought live proof of its existence. If it had ever been possible to land this plane handicapped with no jet engines, coming from nowhere but space, on a regular runway, all my dreams seemed attainable as long as carefully planned. I dressed all cute in a white jumpsuit trying to resemble to the max the actual astronaut suits.

As expected, the space shuttle brings tears to my eyes as I enter the hangar. This giant room with something even grander inside. As soon as I look up, I am taken with emotion both by its overwhelming success and also by the astronauts who never made it back with the whole world watching. The wall of the hangar is surrounded by successful launches, women pilots, and teachers. I had no idea that there had been over ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY THREE missions that achieved unparalleled success. It took almost ONE THOUSAND people to space and other incredible things, like the International Space Station and even the Hubble telescope. Its majestic photos still give me chills thinking about the pizza box-sized book on my parent’s coffee table at home. So many pleasures that I enjoyed came from these incredible trips.

How, it’s hard to believe. Its fragility makes its feats even more surprising. Over one million moving parts. The entirety of the shuttle is covered in foam tiles that I imagined were high-durability ceramics. Turns out, for maximum insulation, the best-performing tiles could be crushed just with a light poke of a pinky finger. The top, even more surprisingly, is covered in fabric not too different from my bedspread. These little details stand out in person because pictures often miss the quirks. Through lenses it’s easy to make it look like we expect, durable, strong. Close by, there's no Trompe-l'œil.

My brain though, very much catastrophe-oriented, cannot move past the tragedies. The name Ilan Ramon repeats itself as I doubt this complex machinery the same way my self-doubt never subsides. The truth is that life is a life and that it’s impossible to tag an endeavor as a success or a failure by comparing scientific achievements against any casualties. The son of a Holocaust survivor, Ramon was a colonel in the Israeli Air Force and the first Israeli in space. Even before this achievement, he was already a national hero, being attributed with the glory of landing a plane with a missing wing. Highly commemorated, Israel’s pride was taken from this world too soon as Columbia overheated right after reentry and its entire crew incinerated before our eyes.

If only I knew that the next time my heart would be tied in such deep knots, pondering on the fragility and strengths of dreams, it would also be for Israel. Last Saturday the only Jewish state in the world was faced with the largest terrorist attack ever recorded in proportion to a population. The last time so many Jews were brutally, mercilessly murdered was during the Holocaust and there can be no justification for what has occurred. As a person with family in Israel, friends in the reserve, and a memorable part of my history interwoven with the piece of land between the Dead Sea and the Mediterranean, I am disgusted by the media that does not acknowledge this reality.

That said, I am donating 100% of my proceeds from styling services to Israel during October. At a time when the community is shattered, I feel blessed that I can use my talent to try to uplift spirits. The goal of the attack is to lose ourselves. At this time, our confidence is shattered, we are scared. It's easy not to shave in a week. Stay in your pajamas. If you feel like you are under a constant waterfall of disinformation, unprepared to wake up, unable to carry on, I hope you consider my loving contribution to your self-care, as small as it may seem, amidst this irreparable terror. How you dress has a major impact on what you plan to achieve in addition to the obvious impact of knowing you will be giving money to those who need it. To learn more about my services check out my website or subscribe below.

There were 22 shuttle missions after Columbia and 88 after Challenger. Israel is like the space program, a big dream that prevails, fragile against life's practicalities and the evils of the world. Its existence pushes me to believe in the unlikely, in world unity, in the foundation and protection of human rights so damaged from the times of the Holocaust. And to that, I owe Israel way more than the money I expect to make this month. It’s the generosity, the inspiration, and the confidence that never again means never again.